One Punch Shirou
by Sir Godot
Summary: [One-Shot] Shirou Emiya - an ordinary boy who wants to be a hero. And to be a hero, one needs to be strong enough to save the people in need. However, when you are literally strong enough to win every battle with one punch, you notice that it's not quite as grand as it sounds... [Fate/stay night x One Punch-Man Crossover]


**Hey guys, welcome to my first one-shot in a looooong time. What can I say, I was busy and my muse was on vacation. This one-shot is something like a testversion of a fanfiction I'm currently working on. The stories involved will be the same, but the plot will be much longer and deeper. **

**The basic idea of this story was giving Shirou a power-up, and I thought: there are so many who overpower him, so why not write a story where it shows what the problem with too powerful characters is? And that's how this crossover with One Punch Man was born. If you don't know the manga, look it up, you're missing out on something, really.**

**But enough of that. Please enjoy the story.**

* * *

**One Punch Shirou**

"_We interrupt our current program for an emergency broadcast! Several nearby cities have already been attacked and the source of this disaster is currently headed for Fuyuki City! I repeat, it is currently heading for Fuyuki City. Civilians are advised to immediately seek shelter and – "_

At this point the lone person listening to the news turned the television off. He got on his feet and smoothed over his clothes before he headed towards the door.

There was work to do.

* * *

Screams of terror. Sounds of explosions. A cacophony of despair echoed across the now destroyed cities Altrouge Brunestud had passed. The young looking Dead Apostle Ancestor was sitting on the back of her most faithful servant, Primate Murder. The impossibly large white beast was the source of the destruction around them, having mercilessly crushed men, women and children along with everything else in its path.

With a condescending sneer Altrouge gazed upon the destruction that had been caused on her orders. "Pathetic humans… and to think they believe themselves to be the dominant species of this planet. I have tolerated their insolence long enough, it is time to change things. Don't you agree, Murder?"

[Primate Murder – Disaster Level: God]

The Beast of Gaia gave what may have been an appreciative gruff, but only sounded like a sound from one's worst nightmare to all the people unfortunate enough to be still near it. As the demonic dog let its gaze wander, it noticed that there was one human, a young female child, which had apparently been lucky enough to survive the destruction it had caused. The girl was crying and trapped under some debris. It was an image that would have awakened pity in anyone – anyone who could feel something like pity anyway.

While Primate Murder didn't think like human species did, what went through its head was similar to "Well, that can be changed easily enough". It raised its massive paw and slammed it into the ground where the girl had been trapped, the impact resounding like an explosion and throwing up dirt and ashes. When it removed its paw to show its master its work, both the beast and the Dead Apostle Ancestor were in for a surprise.

The debris had been destroyed, but there was no trace left of the girl. Altrouge knew her pet's attack had been strong, but as it had been only playing around it shouldn't have annihilated the body like that. Oh, Primate Murder was perfectly capable of that and more, but something was off.

Suddenly the two noticed a new presence. When they turned their heads in tandem they saw the girl they had just attacked along with her apparent savior.

If Altrouge were asked to describe anything outstanding about him, she would have mentioned his white hair. The rest was… plain. He was pretty normal looking, a little taller than most people but not dwarfing anyone. He wore what looked like a simple black shirt with long sleeves along with equally black pants. And was that… yes, apparently he also had a red cape around his shoulders for whatever reason.

Still, he had managed to save a girl from an attack of Primate Murder, no matter how lackluster it had been.

"Who are you?" She asked, completely unfazed. She knew he was going to die, but maybe this would make things a tad more interesting.

The figure gently sat down the by now unconscious girl before he slowly but confidently walked towards the vampire and her demonic servant.

"Just an ordinary guy who works as an ally of justice." The newcomer said as if he wasn't standing before an incarnation solely created to eradicate humanity.

Altrouge had to blink at the sheer gall of the human in front of her before she started scowling. "I don't like your tone… Actually, I believe you're mocking me. An ally of justice? Did you watch too many kids' shows when you were young?"

Something about this guy irked Altrouge. She didn't like being irked. At all. Things that irked her were pretty much doomed to end up as interestingly shaped stains on the floor. "Do you even know who you just challenged? I am Altrouge Brunestud, the descendant of Crimson Moon himself! With Primate Murder on my side I am a being that even surpasses the Ultimate One of the Moon! The True Ancestors were created to save the Earth from humanity, which is nothing more than a parasite that is slowly killing the planet! We have waited long enough for this day, it is time to purge the Earth and begin a new age! You have no idea what you got yourself into."

After her outburst, the young looking vampire calmed down again while the self-proclaimed ally of justice just looked at the two with a blank expression. "Oh well, it doesn't matter. You're dead anyway. Primate Murder? Show him how you earned your name."

The white beast was only too eager to obey its master's command. Impossibly large muscles bulged and tensed as the white beast prepared to attack its "opponent". Of course, to Primate Murder there was no equal on this world except maybe the foreign beings from other planets, like ORT, the Ultimate One of Mercury.

So after not even a split-second of preparation, the white beast descended upon its opponent with its claws and fangs. The battle had already been over when the human had entered its range, for at this point nothing could stop its fully focused atta –

And then the head and upper body of Primate Murder turned into a fine red mist, courtesy of the single punch the caped man had thrown.

The rest of the beast's body fell to the ground and didn't move, which wasn't surprising as it lacked approximately 80% of its vital organs, primarily its head. Altrouge, who had been sitting on the creatures back, had slid down when it had fallen over and was now sitting in a constantly larger growing puddle of blood. Her eyes were wide open and her mouth was opening and closing, but no sound came out. She was incapable of putting her thoughts in words – not like there was much going on inside her head aside from the word "what" echoing through it again and again.

The black garbed ally of justice just stared at his fist with an unreadable expression. His gaze shifted back to the carcass of the Beast of Gaia, then to his fist again.

"FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC K!"

Truly, the life of Shirou Emiya was wrought with peril.

* * *

Let us go back a bit further in time to see how the things that just transpired came to be.

Ten years ago, Shirou Emiya had been born. While something like a birth is not too uncommon, being around 8 years old when it happens is a bit on the unusual side.

Shirou Emiya was born in the aftermath of a magical ritual known as the Holy Grail War. Seven magi summoned seven Heroic Spirits to fight for the Holy Grail, an artifact with the power to grant any wish. But as it is often the case with great power, things NEVER go as planned. It turned out the Grail had been corrupted in the last war, and when the winner of the fourth war had tried to destroy the Grail in order to stop it from bringing death and destruction to the world… well, exactly those things happened, only on a smaller scale.

Shirou Emiya had survived the fire that the Grail had thrown at the world as its last act before returning to a sleep-like state. The very man who had accidentally caused the fire by destroying the Grail, Kiritsugu Emiya, had managed to save a single child from the fire and consequently adopted him – Shirou Emiya.

Being saved from the brink of death by a man with indescribable happiness on his face caused one thing in the child: the wish to be as happy as the man who had just saved him. And when the man who would become his adoptive father told him that he had always wanted to be a hero who could save everyone, it really stuck with Shirou.

Now, while Shirou wanted to save everyone, he knew that this was no easy task. If it was easy, people would already do it on a regular basis. No, to become a hero he had to be strong. Strong enough to defeat anyone who threatened another, fast enough to be where his help was needed, tough enough to withstand anything thrown at him. For a child as driven as Shirou, there was only one way to accomplish this monumental task.

Training.

After two years of feeling his bones creak, spitting blood and being constantly in pain, Shirou noticed two things.

One, his hair had turned completely white.

Two, he had become strong enough to crush anything with a single punch.

At first Shirou had been ecstatic about this discovery. While his hair garnered him some strange looks, it was a price he was glad to pay as long as he could now save everyone in need. So the now white-haired teenager set out to make the world a better place. He fought monsters, averted disasters and stopped ordinary humans from harming each other. And for a while everything was good for the young man. However, after a few weeks of working as an ally of justice, he noticed a third thing.

It was incredibly boring to be strong enough to beat anyone with a single punch.

No matter how terrifying the opponent, no matter how massive they were, everyone was felled by just a single punch, just like Primate Murder had been reduced to a bloody puddle after being hit only once.

Although he knew he shouldn't wish for any conflict or threats, Shirou couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to fight against someone who could push him to his limits.

And now, ten years later, the Holy Grail stirred again.

* * *

Rin Tohsaka was not in a good mood. The last few days had been beyond stressful with the Command Spells marking her as a Master of the Fifth Holy Grail War appearing recently much to her surprise. Not only was the war about 50 years early, but the entire city was in a frenzy. Apparently a large white dog had been rampaging through the area two days ago before dying a mysterious death. She was glad it had not reached Fuyuki City as dealing with something like that would have brought her a particularly nasty headache for sure. When she had first heard of the description she had thought the legendary Beast of Gaia, Primate Murder, had been headed for her city, but when she had heard of its demise those thoughts had disappeared completely. After all, what could possibly stop a monster like that in its tracks? Therefore it had probably been a similar beast but clearly inferior when compared to the legendary white beast.

Another source of stress was currently sitting in the church of Fuyuki City, and for once Rin was not referring to her much loathed guardian Kirei Kotomine. No, the problem was that a vampire had taken up residence in the church, a very powerful one at that. She hadn't said it out loud, but she had been cackling inwardly when Kirei had admitted that him trying to oust or exorcise the vampire would only lead to him being a particular stain on the church carpet. Luckily for both of them, the vampire seemed to be in a sort of trance as all she did was sit on the church banks and silently mouth the word "what" over and over again. Well, no one had said vampires were known for being sane. Still, it was a situation that had to be observed carefully.

The last problem was currently accompanying her. After her Command Spells had appeared, Rin had poured everything she had into the summoning of her Servant. Her long hours of hard work had been awarded with the appearance of Saber, the strongest of the three Knight Classes. Unfortunately her Servant had a problem with astralizing, so she was constantly visible and unable to hide from view like other Servants could. While she had managed to get Saber to wear one of her spare uniforms so she wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb, she was still constantly accompanied by the girl. It made scouting for other Masters a lot harder than it could have been.

So a few minutes later her last problem came to an abrupt end when the evening calm was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a small girl with long white hair. She looked completely innocent, like a little princess straight out of a fairytale. If not for the eight feet wall of walking muscle behind her, people would have believed her unable to harm a single fly.

"Hello, onee-chan. My name is Illyasviel von Einzbern. I was looking for someone else, but as you have your Servant with you I thought 'why waste the chance?'. It's a shame you'll drop out already, but that's life. Berserker, kill them."

The order was spoken without malice and childlike innocence, but the result couldn't have been further from that.

With a shout of "Rin, stay back!", Saber rushed past her Master and engaged the monstrous Servant in combat. It was a battle beyond human understanding as several blows were exchanged in the blink of an eye and the ground was ripped apart and shattered from the forces affecting it. To Rin's relief Saber was capable of holding up against the terrifying Berserker, whose presence gnawed at her senses to run away and hide. However, her Servant remained steadfast, so they still had a chance to win this battle!

"Hmm, I should really buy some vegetables tomorrow; these prices are really good..."

And with that the tense atmosphere was completely shattered. With incredulous looks Rin, Illya and even Saber stared at the new figure that had stumbled across their battle. The twin-tailed magus immediately recognized the newcomer as her schoolmate Emiya, as his hair was rather unique and still a popular topic at school. Dread gripped her heart. She had tried to keep everything about magic a secret to the people around her, and now, because of a stupid coincidence, the boy would die. It didn't matter if she tried to save him, there was no way Saber could defend both her and Shirou from Berserker. Rin clenched her fist angrily as her mind raced to come up with a solution for the problem, but the chances were slim.

Illya was also surprised. From the photos her servants had acquired for her, she could tell that this was her elusive "brother", the boy Kiritsugu had adopted in favor of her. What a lucky coincidence! This evening was getting better and better. A smile appeared on Illya's face, but this one was everything but innocent.

"Berserker, change of plans. Kill onii-chan first. Crush him to a pulp but leave the head intact!"

Shirou was slightly confused. Here he was on his way back home after yet another patrol around the city, and something really strange was happening. The school idol Rin Tohsaka and another girl in armor were fighting a little girl and what looked like the result of someone trying to see just how muscular someone could get. And now the little girl had sent the walking pile of muscles and rage after her.

'And this still doesn't rank among my Top Ten Weird Events. Maybe I should start looking for a therapist…'

Just when it seemed like Illya's grin couldn't get any wider, Shirou decided to solve this situation like he solved any situation:

He punched the problem.

The grin remained firmly on Illya's face, even as Berserker turned into a fine red mist. Only his legs were still standing where the Servant had once been, like the remains of a statue someone had dug out. Upon closer inspection one would also notice that the grin on Illya's face seemed somewhat frozen, as if she was only still grinning because she had forgotten to change her facial expression. Then the three girls blinked. Even Berserker would have blinked in confusion had his eyes and head not been turned into a spray of blood a few seconds ago.

"… What just happened?" Rin asked more in general than anyone specific, not really grasping what had just transpired.

"… I have no idea." Saber admitted, though she eyed the white-haired boy warily.

Finally, Illya recovered from her shock, but it was clear she was still shaken. "I-I don't know what happened, but it doesn't matter! Berserker has twelve lives, so he will just come back again! Your tricks won't work twice on him, onii-chan!"

Shirou was still not quite sure what was going on, but he could see that the hulking pile of muscle called Berserker was indeed regenerating quickly. A few moments later the Servant was completely restored and snarled angrily at Shirou.

As the problem was apparently not solved yet, Shirou punched it again.

Berserker once again turned into tiny chunks of Servant, this time even his legs exploded from the impact.

The silence on the street was slowly turning awkward. It didn't help matters when Berserker angrily regenerated for the second time but was turned into minced meat not even a second later yet again.

By the fourth time Saber had lowered her sword, and when Berserker started his tenth regeneration, Rin took a look at her wristwatch to see when she'd probably get home. Illya on the other hand had started to develop a severe case of PTSD (Posttraumatic Shirou Disorder), and her mouth was now opening and closing without making a sound, although one could see she was silently mouthing the word "what" again and again.

"… and that's twelve." Shirou said as his last punch turned his opponent into particles. Shirou actually felt bad about doing it at the end because after the ninth punch even Berserker had started to look afraid. It hadn't stopped the mad Servant from attacking him, but the white-haired ally of justice had started to see something like resignation and fear in the rage-filled face of his opponent after a while.

And so Shirou once again saved the day. The fact that it had taken twelve punches instead of one only made him feel slightly better.

* * *

After dropping off Illya at the church (next to the vampire who had somehow identified Illya as a fellow PTSD victim), Rin and Saber accompanied Shirou to his house to get some answers. To be fair, Rin was only slightly surprised to see her estranged sister Sakura at Shirou's house as she knew that the two were acquainted. It surprised her a hell lot more though to see Sakura opening the door wearing nothing but an apron and a smile that spoke of thoughts so dirty that any attempt to put them on paper would result in the paper spontaneously combusting.

"Good evening Sempai. Do you want a bath, dinner… or me?" Sakura spoke with a voice that only too clearly revealed what choice she was hoping for.

While Rin was trying to wrap her head around what she was seeing and silently wondering how Sakura hadn't noticed her and Saber yet, her Servant was developing a slight twitch in her right eye. However, both of them were even more shocked when Shirou took a step forward and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of Sakura (ignoring that it was evening).

"Oh Sakura, you always know how to cheer me up." Shirou said as the two interrupted their impromptu make out session to breath. "I met another strange being today, and while it died after one punch it could regenerate, so it took twelve punches altogether."

"Oh Sempai," Sakura giggled as she hugged Shirou tightly, pressing her generous assets into Shirou (which caused Rin and Saber to feel inadequate). As the two watchers coughed to gain their attention, Sakura didn't really react as expected. She only shot Rin and Saber a glare that promised untold sufferings for interrupting her planned nookie time. "… I see you brought visitors Sempai."

Shirou scratched the back of his head awkwardly when he remembered that little tidbit. "Oh yeah, I ran into these two when I met the regenerating muscle thing. They said they had some questions."

"I bet they do…" Sakura muttered before turning around, ignoring the indignant squeaks from anyone but Shirou as she presented what her apron did not cover to the three people at the door. "I'll prepare some tea then."

When Sakura had vanished, Rin seriously considered strangling Shirou for whatever he had done to her little sister, fists with the power to one-hit kill Servants or not.

* * *

_A few minutes later…_

The group consisting of Rin, Saber, Shirou and a now clothed Sakura, was sitting around the dinner table in silence. It was clear that Sakura was still very cross for being interrupted earlier, and Rin and Saber were not quite sure how to address the topic. Shirou was simply smiling and patting Sakura's back in order to comfort her. It was probably the only thing stopping the purple haired girl from severely maiming the other girls at the table.

"So… Emiya…" Rin began slowly. "I guess I just cut straight to the point: what the hell are you?"

Shirou tilted his head. "I don't really understand what you mean. I'm a normal human."

"Bullshit!" Rin shouted, slamming her hands on the table. Saber remained composed, but her expression showed that she thought very much the same thing. "A normal human couldn't hope to even scratch a Servant! And you took out the strongest Servant in the entire Holy Grail War with punches! Punches! The world doesn't work like that!"

Shirou looked a bit confused at Rin's accusing tone. "But that's all I did. Well, I went through training from hell of course to get this strong, but it's nothing special, anyone could do the same. And it was really just a simple punch."

Rin's eye was developing a very unhealthy looking twitch, but was managing to keep herself under control. "Ok… so it is the result of your training. Well, I know the human body can be very malleable… So what was your training?"

The magus wouldn't admit it out loud, but she was actually quite curious what training would allow someone to gain enough power to crush a Servant with a simple punch and not even be strained by it. Saber was likewise interested in the way the young man had used to obtain a power that, frankly, made her feel a bit inadequate.

Shirou's expression turned serious. "Very well, I don't mind telling you. But keep in mind, you have to do this training daily for 3 years so you can notice its effect. I was in constant pain and throwing up blood after a while, but I powered through and gained this strength as a result."

He looked the Servant-Master pair straight in the eye. "100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats and running 10 kilometers. Every. Single. Day."

Silence followed. Then Rin slammed her hands on the table again. To everyone's surprise, Saber had done the same.

"Bullshit!" They shouted in tandem before Rin continued, ignoring Shirou's retort of "But that's all I did".

"There's no way you got this strong with a workout like that!" The twin-tailed magus then fixed her gaze on the remaining occupant of the room who had not yet said anything. "And you! What are you doing here, and why were you skipping around in the house naked when we came here?"

"I wasn't naked, I was wearing an apron. Silly Tohsaka-sempai."

"Not my point!" Rin continued. "Show some decency for crying out loud. I'm not saying you shouldn't do… whatever you do when there's no one around, but I don't think your family would like seeing you do things like that! … come to think of it, I haven't seen that idiot Shinji in a while…"

As Rin's tirade ended, Sakura began speaking. "Oh, nii-san and grandfather are on an extended vacation. They might not be back for years, if ever even." This statement was accompanied by a smile far too angelic to be true.

Rin and Saber looked at Shirou with a raised eyebrow, as if trying to get a sensible answer from him. The white haired boy interrupted his back-patting of Sakura to quickly smash his right fist into his other hand. A look of understanding and slight horror dawned on Rin and Saber's faces. The Tohsaka heir knew that Zouken was a very twisted individual and that close to being classified as a Dead Apostle by the church. Apparently the problem had been taken care of. Permanently.

"… a vacation." Rin repeated, as if baiting Sakura to admit what had really happened.

The smiling girl only nodded. "A vacation. For a veeery long time. That's why I moved in with Sempai, it was lonely at my old home. And because my therapist is closer that way."

Rin decided then and there that she wasn't going to touch that topic with a ten foot pole.

The magus tried to calm herself. "So Emiya, tell me. What do you know about the Holy Grail War?"

* * *

_Two days later…_

Kotomine Kirei was not a man easily disturbed. Even if there was something that surprised him, he could easily remain calm and collected, finding the best solution for whatever problem he was dealing with. But even a man like him had to admit that his church getting fuller and fuller with apparently traumatized people was not something people had to deal with often.

On the one side he liked seeing so many people in obvious misery, but as they barely did anything but mouth the word "what", occasionally eating and drinking a bit before returning to this action, he found himself unable to make their lives even more miserable or even find happiness in their suffering as he didn't know the source of it. He did know however that it was connected to the Holy Grail War.

The first hint had been that his connection with Lancer had disappeared, the last and only thing he had seen before his Servant's demise had been a rapidly approaching fist that had filled the spearman's entire vision. Then there was Luviagelita Edelfelt, the magus who held a strong rivalry with Rin. The Master of Archer had boldly challenged Rin, who was apparently working on something with the adopted son of Kiritsugu Emiya, but the Edelfelt girl had soon returned to the church in the same condition as the vampire and the homunculus. And as he had also sensed the strange aura surrounding Ryudo Temple disappear; it was safe to assume that Assassin and Caster had also been vanquished. That only left Saber and Rider, the latter being an unknown in both identity and Master.

"Kirei!" Gilgamesh yelled angrily as he strode into the church. "Tell me what is going on! The Servants are dying like the flies most of them are, but there are no signs of battle. I would have noticed it had Saber managed to crush the competition. Even your dog was defeated easily. What do you plan to do now?"

Kirei knew when he had to placate the former king of Uruk, so he wisely chose a more active path for his future actions.

"My king, as there is apparently a considerable power in Fuyuki, it might be prudent for yourself to seek out the upstart before having your desired fight with Saber. After all, there are no more disruptions as the Rider has yet to show himself."

Gilgamesh's eyes narrowed as he considered the priest's words. "Very well… it seems the finale of this show is due sooner than expected… Maybe fate is merely wishing for its greatest actor to appear on the stage earlier…"

The incarnated Servant strode off for his desired battle with Saber, Kirei obediently following behind. It was time to show Rin and her little friends the true meaning of despair. And with the vessel for the Grail already in the church, there would be no further problems. Well, aside from the vampire possibly ripping them apart. But Kirei chose to push ignore that possibility to the back of his mind.

* * *

With confident steps Gilgamesh approached the Emiya residence as if he owned it, which he actually did according to his own definition of being the absolute ruler of the world. However, when the King of Heroes arrived at the entrance to the house, he noticed that something felt off. While he was no expert of the mystic arts, he felt something more than just Saber's presence now that he was this close to the house. He ignored Kirei when the priest came to a stop next to him; instead he concentrated on the feeling that seemed like a memory just out of his grasp. His thoughts were interrupted when the inhabitants stormed out, having noticed him at the same time he had been able to sense them.

"Archer!" Saber shouted, her invisible sword firmly in her hands. Behind her Rin and Shirou appeared in the door, and while Rin had a fierce expression on her face, Shirou seemed somewhat bored.

"Kirei." The magus spoke, her eyes narrowing. "So my gut feeling was right… you did have more to do with the Holy Grail War than you let on."

A thin smile appeared on the priest's face. "Very good Rin. As your mentor I am proud you managed to deduce this much. I have to admit though, things did not go quite as I had predicted. It seems a power greater than an average Servant has taken an interest in the Holy Grail War. It made orchestrating things a bit more… tedious so to speak."

"I remember now." Gilgamesh suddenly spoke up. To Saber's great surprise he ignored her and instead focused his gaze on Shirou. "You, peasant. You have performed the Ancient Babylonian Workout, have you not? Your aura, your very presence screams of the power only possessed by those who managed to complete it."

"Ancient Babylonian Workout?" Shirou, Rin and Saber chorused, although in Saber and Rin's voice a hint of annoyance could be heard.

"Of course." Gilgamesh continued, even causing Kirei to raise an eyebrow. "In the ancient times when I first ruled the world it was mandatory for all warriors to undertake this training."

A serious expression appeared on the king's face. "The legendary training of performing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats and running 10 kilometers. Every. Single. Day."

The silence that followed was almost palpable, aside from the slight choking noises Rin was making.

Shirou nodded. "That's what I did. See Tohsaka, it IS a valid workout, even the golden guy knows that."

Rin wasn't sure whether she should try strangling Shirou or save herself the trouble and just bash her head against a wall. Judging from her facial expression, Saber was feeling the same way.

"However," Gilgamesh continued. "While my body is not in its prime, I shall challenge you to a contest of strength, peasant! Rejoice, for you have garnered my attention! Now, prepare yourse-"

And then Gilgamesh miraculously turned into a shower of chunky red parts.

Everyone turned their attention to Shirou, who was still standing in front of the former Heroic Spirit, his fist still hanging in mid-air.

"... what?" Shirou asked as he walked back to Saber and Rin. "He was talking too much. I have better things to do with my evenings, you know."

After this little display, the trio focused on Kirei, who suddenly felt very exposed.

"…" Kirei didn't blink as he stared at the group.

"…" The group remained silent as well, although Saber slowly raised her sword and Rin took out a gem. Shirou was wondering why the mullet guy was even here. The priest decided to perform one last attempt to escape the mortal danger he was in.

"… So, who's up for Mapo Tofu?"

They weren't the greatest last words ever spoken, but there were worse.

* * *

_A few days later…_

With a content sigh Shirou emptied his cup of tea, Sakura sitting at the other side of the table and mirroring the action. After the whole stuff with the priest had been dealt with, things had calmed down a lot. Rin had set out with Saber to look for Rider and his or her Master, following a lead about some guy trying to conquer the world with the help of a professor from the Clock Tower. It didn't really matter to Shirou as he had promised his big sister figure to finish school before setting out and being a hero worldwide. So for now he could relax and deal with the problems that always seemed to gravitate towards Fuyuki City.

Like right now, which resulted in his front door being obliterated. Shirou scowled a bit at that. The person responsible for that should better pay for that or he'd be really angry. Sakura merely sighed and stood up to get a broom. Some people really had no manners.

The one who had caused this then stepped into the living room. It was a young looking woman wearing a white sweater and a long purple skirt. Short blond hair framed her head and red eyes stared at him angrily. Shirou also noticed that a vaguely familiar girl with black hair was being carried by her under one arm.

"So," the blond woman began. "You're the one who did this to my sister I hear?"

With a sigh Shirou stood up. A hero's job was without end after all.

* * *

**And that about wraps things up. I could have continued the story like this, but not for long as I would have run out of enemies for Shirou soon. Needless to say, the upcoming multi-chapter story will concentrate on characters from both series, so you can expand a bigger plot and actual battles.**

**I'd like to thank kyugan, sketchfan and The Infamous Man at this point for helping me with some of the planning, you guys rock.**

**If you liked this story, please leave a short review. Any feedback you give will be useful for the pseudo-sequel I talked about earlier. That aside, I hope you enjoyed the story.  
**

**So long,  
Sir Godot**


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